It’s the beginning of the year, and many people are pursuing weight-loss goals. One of them is a neighbor of ours, who is in a competition with her husband.
I made the joke to Erik that I had a gym membership they could have for free. It’s called “Farm Gym”! Yes, at Farm Gym you can lose weight without the aid of machines! You’ve got 40lb buckets you can carry back and forth for an hour, then lift high to dump. Guaranteed to work every muscle in your body! Need a bit of cardio? Well pick-up that splitting ax, we’ve got a stack of wood for you to cut!
It’s a win-win. They lose weight, I get extra help!
Now while I love maple syrup season, I don’t love what I look like afterward. Between the buckets, and the walking and the wood splitting and more walking, I drop too much weight and add too much muscle. Swim suit season is NOT kind. At least if you are curvy, people don’t stare at you. There are plenty of other curvy women at the beach.
When you’ve spent the last few months packing on muscle, you get labeled as “one of those moms” who spends all their extra time at the gym weight-lifting and eating protein shakes. You get the same looks as the woman a few feet down who obviously got a boob job and is letting it all hang.
Unfortunately for me, the more toned I get, the less boobs I have. My body burns breast tissue first. Erik keeps trying to convince me to get a boob job, but I keep trying to explain that I wouldn’t get much done if I was constantly having to tie boobs down to keep from being hit in the face while riding the bumpy tractor!
And so the gym membership is now open for enrollment. We’ve got a massive pile of wood to split into teeny-tiny pieces, and buckets to run out into the woods. I’m already feeling the burn in new muscles after one day.
It’s going to be a very bad swim suit season!